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Social Media as a Christian | 3 Things to Stop Doing!
Christian Life

Social Media as a Christian | 3 Things to Stop Doing!

March 15, 2021

I remember the day well, it was June 3rd, my birthday. A very special birthday in my mind. No, not because I was finally a teenager. Not because I was old enough to get a learning permit or to drink alcohol. Nope, I was turning 13 and I was SO excited to get my own Facebook account. Looking back I’m not sure why it was so important to me then. Maybe because all my friends were on it and we could chat whenever we wanted. Maybe because I could take pictures of my new braces and post them for people to see (no matter how much they make me cringe now). 

Suffice it to say, social media has played a big role in my life since then. I moved across the world, literally, when I was 15 and Facebook (then, later Instagram) was how I kept up with all my friends back in the states. 

Social media is bittersweet to me. It’s wonderful in the sense that you can connect with other people anywhere in the world, you can write something that someone else you’ve never met can read, and you can keep up with family and friends. But it’s also bitter in that it can take up a LOT of your time, too much sometimes. And it can be a very dark and discouraging place.

As believers, we need to honor Christ in every area of our lives, even in how we use social media. That’s why we need to stop doing these 3 things so that we can honor the Lord with our social media.

3 things to Stop Doing on Social Media

1. Stop Following Everyone on Social Media

There’s nothing inherently wrong with following lots and lots of people on Instagram or having thousands of friends on Facebook. But I think limiting who you follow on social media will help your walk with the Lord, here’s why.

Whether we realize it or not, what we read and see online has a profound effect on our thought life and, therefore, on our life in general. What we see on social media really can change our attitude, our outlook, our wants and our desires. 

This happens mostly because we want to be like what we see and we want to see ourselves as different than who we actually are. With all the filters, editing, and snippets of real life on social media, it’s VERY easy to think that your life is not good enough, that it needs to be different to better or that you are doing something wrong, just from what we see online.

As believers, we can’t get our self-worth or standard of living from other people on the internet. We need to find our worth, our whole being really, in Christ as our Savior. He is the one that died for us even though we were sinners (Romans 5:8) and we need to live in light of His sacrifice (Colossians 1:10).

Ultimately, we need to follow Jesus.

It’s because of this deep effectiveness that we need to be careful who we follow on social media. Because they are influencing us whether we think so or not.

That’s why you need to stop following everybody and their cousin on social media. Take a look at who you follow now and weed it down. You will have to use your own discernment in this area. At the end of the day, it’s not sinful to follow someone who is not a Christian or an account that doesn’t post about christian topics, but here are a few things to think through.

Is the influencer mom who claims christianity, posts a perfect Sunday photo with her kids all lined up, shares her Malibu and Diet Coke addiction in her stories, every post is an ad campaign… is she really pointing you to Christ? 

Maybe a mom you follow is suddenly into crystals and connecting with her aura. She’s telling you how witchcraft has changed her life, is that life-giving? Does that help you walk with the Lord? 

Maybe a mom is always complaining about how hard her life is, posts pictures of herself crying and not getting a break, and it makes you hopelessly commiserate the hardness of motherhood together. Is that pointing you to the hope we have in Christ?

Maybe it’s something as small as a mom that’s always gushing about her husband and you have a hard time not being jealous of that… unfollow her. 

Maybe there are some accounts that you’re not sure about. Unfollow them and see if you miss them in a week.

When I weeded through my list of accounts that I follow, it basically came down to this: Unfollow people who are not adding to your life and pointing you to Christ. 

Maybe that seems too narrow-minded to you, that’s fine! In this case, you do you. Use your own conscience to guide and direct your choices of who you follow. Remember that we are ultimately following Christ and we want to have His mind in us (Philippians 2:5)… that’s pretty narrow-minded anyway.

2. Stop Posting Without Reviewing

The next thing to stop doing on social media is posting without reviewing what you are going to post. 

Before you press that post button, take a minute to think about what you are saying. This is especially important when it comes to commenting on other peoples’ posts. It really doesn’t take that long to think through what you’ve written in that post box. So do it. 

When we post willy-nilly we run the risk of our posts coming to the edge of gossip or slander, or lying. As a representative of Christ, you must be careful to avoid these tendencies when posting. 

As a believer, you want to speak life into other people, you want to open avenues to share the Gospel, you don’t want to sin with what you post. The Bible says to “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:32)

So, the one question I encourage you to ask yourself is this: 

“Would I say what I’m going to post if we were talking in person?” 

This question should help you navigate away from major problems with your post. If you need to go deeper than that, ask yourself if it’s loving, biblical, accurate, helpful, and encouraging.

If your post doesn’t meet these qualifications, then don’t post it. 

Usually, the answer to that first question clears up any doubt I may have about what I’m posting. And, to be completely honest, whatever I post on social media is usually something I have already said to someone in person. Most of the time that someone is my husband, but other times it is a friend, my sister, or even my mom! 

It’s totally fine for your social media account to be a week “old” because everything you post has been said in person by you before or you’ve already had a conversation in person with someone about what you are posting. That’s exactly what I do. 

Having a filter on what you write (not just the photos you post) will greatly help you steer clear of a post you regret or end up deleting later.

And that filter on your writing will help you to honor the Lord with what you post.

Filter your words, not just your photos.

3. Stop Spending So Much Time on Your Phone

Now, we’ve talked about unfollowing people (which may help with this step too) and reviewing what you write. But now, the dreaded topic, stop spending so much time on your phone. 

Our phones are truly addicting, partly because they are just so helpful in our everyday lives! But that addiction is dangerous. I wrote a whole post regarding this because it had truly gotten out of hand in my own life. Head over to that post for the full story, but I’ll share a few more tips here to help you spend less time on social media.

  • Keep the Sabbath with your phone. Designate at least one day per week (I recommend Sunday) to not be on your social media at all. Not only will this show you that, yes, you can indeed live without social media, but it will help you focus your time elsewhere and help you live in the moment of the day instead of scrolling endlessly. I can personally attest to these things because I cut myself off from social media every Saturday and Sunday by totally deleting the apps from my phone.
  • Set a timer when you go to the park. This is especially for parents. There have been way too many times where I’ve been at the park and all I want to do is be on my phone the whole time. When you get to the park, set a time for when you need to start leaving. Make sure the volume is up on your phone! Then put it away. No need to check what time it is, it will let you know when you are leaving. Maybe pull it out for a fun photo, but that’s all you need. This can also work for walking or even being at the store.
  • Use your phone’s screen time settings. There are plenty of options on your phone when it comes to staying off of certain apps. Take advantage of those settings! Set a timer for the most distracting apps so that you can’t open them after you’ve used up the time. Turn on “Do Not Disturb” for a couple hours each day. Turn off all your notifications. Find what works for you.
  • Don’t charge your phone at night. This may not work for everyone, but if you are home most of the day like me, then don’t charge your phone at night. That will force you to charge it sometime during the day and, therefore, put it out of your hands for a while.

Try out those tips and enjoy the moments of silence you will have. Not silence from real noise, but silence from all the noise that social media can bring. You may be surprised at how many thoughts you actually have, they’ve been stuffed down by your scrolling. Or you’ll notice something about your kid that you hadn’t seen before. Or you’ll see how much you can actually get done during the day when you don’t look at any Instagram Reels (don’t worry, I’ve been there).

Bittersweet Social Media

As I said at the beginning, social media is bittersweet. Let’s stop doing these three things and start doing more off of social media so that it can be more sweet than bitter. And, more importantly, so that we can honor the Lord with how we use social media.

What’s your best social media tip? Let me know in the comments below!


Related Posts:

How to Manage Phone Time

How to Read Your Bible as a Busy Mom

The Best Planner for Busy Moms

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Welcome! I’m Deborah. So glad you’re here!

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    We are called to know and love the Scriptures that We are called to know and love the Scriptures that God has given us. The most meaningful example of this for me is what David wrote in Psalm 119. That Psalm is 176 verses of praises and benefits of knowing the Scriptures. David loved them! And how can we come to know and love the Scriptures like that without reading them on a regular basis?

And when we look to the New Testament, Jesus constantly quoted Scripture, elevating it to a high place and showing us that we need to know it as well. And then in the epistles we are encouraged to encourage one another with Scripture and Psalms. How can we do all of this if we aren’t reading the Bible every day? So it is clear that we need to be immersed in the Words of Scripture. They are truly the Words of life because they come directly from God and we need them to live each day of our lives here on earth.

To help you read the Bible this summer, I've put together the Psalms of the Summer 2023 Bible Reading plan. 🎉  This plan will take you through the book of Psalms 3 times throughout this summer. Once in June, once in July, and once in August. And there are 3 Psalms selected to memorize along with your Bible reading. I will be following this plan as well.

Why am I reading through Psalms so much this summer? Well, I have actually dedicated the last 3 summers to studying the Psalms exclusively in my quiet times and Bible readings. It has been so encouraging to really dig deeply into this book of the Bible throughout the summertime months. I also realized that when I use the Bible Reading Challenge plan throughout the year, I am only reading a Psalm here or there along with another passage. I believe the book of Psalms should be read in order and studied that way. So when I have the extra time in the summer, I read through the Psalms chapter by chapter… and it’s amazing!

I’d love for you to join me in reading through the Psalms this summer. I will need accountability as I am going to have a newborn this summer! So please click over to my blog at my bio link and download the free Bible reading plan for the Psalms of the Summer. Print it and stick it in your Bible to start reading on June 1st with me, that's Thursday! 💕
    39 weeks and 5 days! 😍 This is actually the lon 39 weeks and 5 days! 😍 This is actually the longest I've been pregnant because my daughter came at 39 weeks. I am so looking forward to having a newborn again. But at the same time, I've done it before and I know how hard it is! 🫠 

One thing that has always helped me when mom life becomes more demanding is reading my Bible daily. So, for this summer, I put together a new Bible Reading plan that I'll be following and it's available on my blog now for you too! Having a plan printed on paper in my Bible is the best option for me, but what about you? How do you stay in your Bible when you have so much going on as a mother? Let me know in the comments! 😀
    "Finding your tribe" is overrated. When I lived ba "Finding your tribe" is overrated.
When I lived back in Los Angeles, I had one mom friend in particular who agreed with me on pretty much everything (I think the sole exception was headcovering). We were often texting each other about what first foods we’d give our babies and what non-toxic baby products we found at cheap prices. It was great! There was a certain ease that came with being friends simply because we agreed and enjoyed a lot of the same things. When I moved here to England, I found that the fastest and easiest way to make new friends was through my church. Both because it was a new place and because we moved when there were still covid restrictions and church was one of the only things we could go to. Now, that means that I have become friends with lots of different people at church who have lots of different viewpoints in parenting and life. 

I’ve learned that being a good mom friend should not always be about finding the moms that will agree with you on everything. It’s about finding the moms who also love Jesus and live for Him and letting that connect you instead. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is a lot of fun to bond over things like sourdough bread, or co-sleeping, or flower-arranging, or being a traditional wife/homemaker.. But how much more impactful is it to bond over things like worshiping Sunday by Sunday together, praying for one another during the week, studying Scripture together at Bible study, and encouraging each other to keep serving the Lord? 

All the trends that we enjoy that bind us together could never bind us together like our bond in Christ. He’s the one who causes us to live together in harmony and builds beautiful friendships among His people. 

So, finding your tribe is overrated. Go out and find your local church and get connected there instead.

Galatians 3:26-28, “For you are all sons and daughters of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
    Okay, here’s what I’ve been thinking in regard Okay, here’s what I’ve been thinking in regard to the #tradwife movement as I’ve seen it here on Instagram. 

Comparison is a thief of joy. As with any trend, we see it and want to make it happen in our own life and home. Now, don’t get me wrong, I actually do a lot of the things that would be considered part of the #tradwife trend… cook everything from scratch, wear pretty, floral dresses, take walks with my child, homeschool, etc... I mean, most of my time right now is literally spent pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen! While all of those things are good and there’s no problem with doing them, they are not the end-all be-all of being a good mother or homemaker. We must look back to the Scripture for definitions of both womanhood and motherhood (and even homemaker-hood from Proverbs 31!). Remember that 1 Peter 3 lays out our role as wives pretty well and it doesn’t have distinctions like what our kitchens or our outfits should specifically look like (except being modest, of course). It says, “In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely the external–braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”

So, don’t compare your life so much to what you see online that you feel unhappy with what God has given you. You are not any less of a good homemaker or wife because you have a rental kitchen with a pink wall and very modern cabinets instead of open, wood shelving and a collection of brass pots. As long as you are living your life according to the Scriptures, then you are doing what the Lord has called you to do and that should bring you joy.

..........................

What have you thought about this traditional wife movement? I have another post coming after this, so look for it!
    I came to the realization that even if it did happ I came to the realization that even if it did happen again, if I did lose this baby too, God would still be faithful. I have already walked that road with Him two times and I can do it again in His faithfulness. Of course, it would be sad. But I trust God. He knows whether or not I need to hold this baby in my arms or only in my womb. So, instead of letting my heart worry, I purposed to rejoice in His kindness to give me another baby for however long He wills. 

Isaiah 40:11 helps me when I have anxious thoughts. It says, “Like a shepherd He [God] will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing lambs.” God has tender care for us moms, He knows what we deal with in each pregnancy. And that truth tells me that should the worst happen in my life, whatever it may be, God will carry me in His arms, He will be faithful.

I love the Old Testament book of Lamentations. It is a very sad and chaotic book. The Israelites are being afflicted, their enemies are overtaking them, and it seems as if there is no hope. But right in the middle of the whole book, in the chaos, it says in Lamentations 3:21-24, “This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail, they are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘Therefore I have hope in Him.’”

In the middle of the chaos in our lives, in the times when we just have storm after storm, we can still have hope. God’s lovingkindness is there and He is faithful.

Even if we never have another child after loss or never have children at all, God is faithful. We’re not promised a certain number of kids in Scripture, but we are promised that God is for us and not against us, that Jesus gave His life for us, and so much more. So we can trust God and His faithfulness. I’m so thankful that it’s not dependent on what happens in my life. He will be faithful with or without a “rainbow baby.”

So, I won’t be calling this baby my rainbow baby, but I will be constantly so grateful for this new baby, it is more than anything I could ever deserve. 💕
    The term “rainbow baby” describes babies who a The term “rainbow baby” describes babies who are born after the mother has lost a previous pregnancy or multiple pregnancies. They are supposed to be a symbol of the “beauty that comes after a storm.” 

There is also the more Christian definition from the story of Noah. God sent a rainbow after the worldwide flood as a sign of His promise to never flood the earth again in such a way. And maybe we should read Genesis 6 over more often because I have found this Christian definition rather problematic when we think of it in light of what the Bible says.

When we read the story of Noah in the Bible and when we picture it in our head, we think of Noah and his family in the ark with the animals, the rain coming, and then, once the waters subside, the world being beautiful and happy, lush and green, the perfect place to live. 

Now, I’m sure that the vegetation under the water from the flood was green and growing when Noah and his family came off the ark. But the reality of the situation after the flood is that the earth would’ve been covered in the remains of death. The flood killed everyone and everything that wasn’t on the ark. All those bodies and debris were still somewhere. So, there probably was grass growing, but growing with the signs of destruction and chaos everywhere.

When Noah and his family stepped off the ark, they didn’t immediately give offerings to God in worship because of beauty. They did it because they had been miraculously saved from the destruction that surrounded them. So God gave Noah the sign of the rainbow to show His faithfulness in preserving His people. Noah and his family could continue looking for the seed who would crush the serpent’s head that God promised in Genesis 3:15 because they were alive and not killed in the flood.

So, the flood was not just any other storm and I think it is not wise to compare the hard things in our lives, the storms as we call them, to the flood that totally destroyed the world. The sign of the rainbow in the Bible is much, much more than simply the beauty after a storm. It is God’s covenant faithfulness on display to His people after a horribly needed judgment on the entire planet.
    Going to the hospital for an ultrasound has felt r Going to the hospital for an ultrasound has felt really strange! Back in LA my doctor would do one in her little office to check on the baby. Here in Oxford, they're all done in the hospital... Which is usually the place to avoid!  I had my last one yesterday and everything looks great, praise God! That means I won't be back at the hospital again if all goes to plan because... I'm going to have a homebirth this time! 😍

The midwives here in England actually encourage you to have a homebirth if possible. They see better outcomes for mom and baby and it keeps the hospitals open for those who really need it. I've really enjoyed my midwife and her approach to pregnancy and birth. 

Did you have a homebirth? Leave me any tips in the comments below! 💕🤱
    As mothers, we can trust that God knows all the da As mothers, we can trust that God knows all the days of our children, even if they were only a few days or weeks in our wombs. Praise Him for His faithfulness to us in the difficult times of raising babies! 💕
    So, this current pregnancy is actually my 4th preg So, this current pregnancy is actually my 4th pregnancy. I have one daughter who is 5-years-old and then I had two pregnancies after her that ended in very early miscarriage.

One thing I’ve learned from having miscarriages is this: 

every life, no matter how long, should be known and celebrated. 

I only knew about my two other babies for a few short days before they were gone. Those two little lines on the pregnancy tests told me they were there, but then they were gone before the first ultrasound. 

But as their mama, those little lives are still precious to me. They still lived and they were little persons for those days that they lived. And I know that those lives are precious to God because He created them.

In both of my miscarriage experiences, God showed Himself to be faithful. But in looking back, I now see the need to tell other people early on about pregnancy and I wish I had done that then.

There’s a certain assurance in telling other people you are pregnant that I really needed. Not assurance that the pregnancy is going to go through without a problem. But assurance that your friends, church, and family will be there for you if it doesn’t.

This time around, I did tell people a lot earlier on. No, it wasn’t a big announcement on social media with a cute onesie. But I texted my family and in-laws. And then I also texted the ladies at my church, telling them I had just found out and asking them to pray because I have had miscarriages before. Those messages back from family and friends were nothing special, they mostly said, “Congratulations! We’re praying for you!” But those simple words were profoundly encouraging. They knew about this little life that I had inside and they were part of it with me, for worse or for better. And, I knew that they would be praying alongside me for this pregnancy and baby.
    Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon at a garden Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon at a garden centre. It was chock full of beauty. The plants, the seed packets, the tools, the bird houses… you name it, it was beautiful. 

But as I looked at the beautiful plants, potted with compost and some towering high, I was a bit sad and felt like I was missing out. One of the joys of cultivating a beautiful back garden (or an allotment!) would be to buy a big bush plant and settle it in, enjoying it year after year. For me, as someone who is most likely moving within the next year to who knows where, I won’t get that year-after-year return on the work I’m doing right now in my garden. Though I was feeling sad, I said to myself, "wait a minute!" I have plenty of ways to invest and enjoy in my garden right now without waiting for the year-after-year return. I can sow lettuces or radishes and harvest them within a month. I can plant flower seeds and they'll grow and bloom by July. And, so what if I'm not here year after year to enjoy it? It's still nice while I can be here!

And that little lesson from the garden centre also applies to other areas of my life as I live in places briefly, especially when it comes to friendships. I can sometimes be led to think that it’s not worth the effort to make friends or get to know people when we will be moving on to another place shortly. But that is not true! The investment and work in friendships, even for a short time, is worth it. It is beautiful to get to know new people and love and serve alongside them, or serve them directly. That brings glory to God, even if there’s not a year-after-year return in store for me. And, with an eternal perspective, we will have year after year after year of return on our investments in God's Kingdom. Using our time to love and serve others is never a waste.

1 Corinthians 15:55 says that we should “excel in the work of the Lord, knowing that our labor is not in vain in the Lord.”
    Living abroad has definitely been an adventure! I Living abroad has definitely been an adventure! I had so many ideas of what I thought England would be like before moving here. It's actually pretty beautiful. ❤️ And I can't wait to enjoy the British summer again this year! 😎

Do you like the summertime better than other seasons? ☀️⛱️🌊
    Just in case you need to hear it today: ✨Nothi Just in case you need to hear it today: 

✨Nothing will replace reading the actual Bible to your children. ✨

There are many good children's Bibles and books out there and they can be very helpful. But nothing, absolutely nothing, will take the place of reading the actual Words of Life to your child/children.

We had some silliness during this morning's reading. As I told my daughter that we need to be reverent when reading the Bible she, of course, asked why. And I said, "Because these are God's Words!" What a blessing to read them and know them. 

May they be precious to you today, friends. ❤️

Psalm 119:18 "Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Your law."
    "There is no death of sin without the death of Chr "There is no death of sin without the death of Christ." -- John Owen

And that, my friends, is why today is called Good Friday, for it is good indeed.
    32 weeks! 🥹 In some ways I can't believe we've 32 weeks! 🥹 In some ways I can't believe we've made it this far and in other ways it's feels like I've been pregnant for a very long time. Each day has its own challenges and worries. Which is why I'm so thankful that Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." And to instead: "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness." Here's to seeking God's kingdom and righteousness in the 8ish weeks I have left!

(Matthew 6:34-35)
    Does God know all things? Yes, God knows all thing Does God know all things? Yes, God knows all things, nothing can be hidden from God. 

This catechism question could fill us with fear... "God knows all about my son!"
But lately it has filled me with hope and comfort. God knows what I experience each and every day. He knows my deepest pain or my brightest joy. He knows my every fleeting feeling from every single moment that I've ever lived. And He holds me under the shadow of His wing. (Psalm 17:8). ❤️
    After reading his commentaries almost daily for th After reading his commentaries almost daily for the last few years, you can see from this picture how happy I was to visit John Calvin's Church in Geneva this week! 😍
    Happy New Year from us! I am definitely looking f Happy New Year from us! 
I am definitely looking forward to what 2023 will hold for our growing fam. ❤️ And striving to look forward to THE new beginning to come. John Calvin said, "No man has made much progress in the school of Christ who does not look forward with joy to the day of death and final resurrection."
    It has been over two years since I laid on a medic It has been over two years since I laid on a medical bed with the ultrasound wand on my stomach to see what was inside. The last two times brought heartbreak as I saw the empty screens confirming the loss of two little babies I only carried for a few weeks each.

But yesterday? That screen was full. 
We're expecting a baby in May 2023.

This pregnancy has already been really different from my first one with my daughter. That is why you haven’t heard from me! I’ve definitely been in survival mode from the nausea and exhaustion. But, of course, I am so thankful for this little one that God has given. I know we often use Job’s famous line when we lose something, but it has been ringing in my head throughout this pregnancy so far:

“The Lord GIVES and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21
    We've lived as expats in Oxford for almost 2 years We've lived as expats in Oxford for almost 2 years. Coming home from holiday truly felt like coming home. I love Oxford. What a challenging, exciting, and enjoyable chapter of life it is turning out to be. And what a grace from God because I could not have been brave enough to do it without Him. 💗
    Our August thus far. This one is just for the memo Our August thus far.
This one is just for the memories. ❤️
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