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Obedience Bootcamp | Finding Consistency
Motherhood

Obedience Bootcamp | Finding Consistency

April 12, 2021

Parenting is no joke. It is hard work! I’m convinced that Deuteronomy 6:7 is just as much for parents as it is for children. “You shall teach [God’s laws] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” We’ve got to teach our children about the Lord constantly because we need the encouragement ourselves constantly.

Well, in the last couple weeks, I had become very lazy in consistently disciplining my daughter. I’m sure you’ve been there. You let obedience slide slowly. Maybe you tell them several times to do something, get a little irritated cause they’re not obeying, but you shrug it off because they did obey in the end so they don’t need discipline. Maybe they are obeying but they are not happy about it and you let it go. Maybe instead of requiring them to obey you when you tell them to clean up or do chores, you just do them all yourself so that you don’t have to fight with them about it.

Those are all examples from my life! When I realized that I had gotten lazy, I knew that I needed to change it. Even though it would be a lot of work! 

So, I came up with my own version of “Obedience Bootcamp.” A couple days of radically changing how I did things so that we could get on the right track again. And now I’m writing it here to share with you!

(One blog post could never be enough to totally guide you through disciplining your children. I’ve linked a couple helpful books below for you to peruse if you need more help than what I’ve written here.)

As I said above, disciplining your children is a lot of hard work. It’s tough, it’s tiring, and it takes a lot of effort. But, as parents, it is our calling from the Lord and we can rely on Him to guide us and give us strength for the task. When it comes to consistency in discipline, I’ve learned that we have to start with ourselves.

Start With Yourself

Before we can jump into doing an Obedience Bootcamp with our children we have to make sure we are disciplining ourselves. Alistair Begg said,

“I will never learn to discipline my children properly unless I’ve learned to discipline myself. And if I am arbitrary in the way I deal with sin in my own life, then it will be inevitable that I am arbitrary in the way I deal with it in my children’s lives. When my children hear godliness from my mouth and they see wickedness in my life, then I point them to heaven, but I lead them to hell.”

Ouch! That struck a nerve. But he is correct, we must live disciplined lives if we are to expect discipline from our children. That doesn’t mean that we have to be perfect before disciplining our kids, we can’t be perfect (Romans 3:23). And God knows that we are not going to be perfect parents. But that does mean that we can’t hold our kids to one standard of discipline and obedience when we are not obeying God and being disciplined in our Christian walk. 

So, first things first. Take time to confess sin and repent of your lack of self-discipline. God is always there to forgive (1 John 1:9). Then ask the Lord to help you move forward in your own self-discipline. Whether it’s spending more time in Bible study, confessing sin more often, praising God throughout the day, or whatever it may be, ask for the Lord’s help in being self-disciplined with your time and holiness (2 Peter 1:3, 5).

Having self-discipline in your life is the way to start disciplining your kids more consistently.

Okay, now to Obedience Bootcamp

Obedience Bootcamp

My dad was/is a Marine (“Once a Marine, always a Marine.”). So, while I’ve never attended a bootcamp myself, I’ve definitely heard about them! But I’m sure that Obedience Bootcamp will not be nearly as hard as the one my dad was subject to. 

Obedience Bootcamp is just the simple idea of a reset. My plan was to take a few days, change what I had been doing and really focus on requiring my daughter to obey right away, the first time, and with a good attitude. That’s it.

I have seen several Christian moms use this idea to help with their children so I decided to make up my own version. This is what I did to help myself discipline my daughter better and to require full obedience defined as: Obeying right away, the first time, and with a good attitude.

1. Warn Your Kids

Sit down your kids and tell them what’s going on. Confess that you’ve been lazy to your children and that you are changing how things are going in your house so that you can all better honor the Lord.

Because my daughter is only 3-years-old, this conversation was short and to the point. I told her that I would not ask her to do something twice anymore and that she would have consequences if she disobeyed the first time.

Once you’ve established that change is happening, make it happen!

2. Be consistent with requiring obedience. 

Hopefully it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. You have to be consistent. 

There’s no hope for this Bootcamp to work if you are not focused and consistently disciplining your children. 

Do not tell them to do something twice. If you’re telling them for the second time, then they are disobeying. Do not let them convince you that they don’t need to obey. If you’re having a discussion about whether or not they need to do what you told them, they are already disobeying. Do not let them have a bad attitude when they are obeying for that actually makes it disobedient. 

Be sure you make eye contact and use their name when telling them to do something. 

Then whichever method you employ for disciplining, you must be consistent in the method. Every time your child disobeys, they need discipline so that they can learn to obey.

And remember that parents are a team, you and your husband have to work together to be a coherent team. That means that you require the same things and discipline consistently together.

Now, some things that helped me be more consistent. 

Stay off your phone. I have several posts about using your phone less (I will link them below) because it is SUCH a big distraction. You will have difficulty being consistent in discipline when you are scrolling on your phone multiple times a day. I suggest totally getting off of your phone for a couple of days. You will not miss much (you may even like it). And your kids obedience is worth it!

Stay home. For us, this happened kind of by accident. We didn’t have a lot of things planned for the couple days I decided to do Bootcamp and it was very cold outside. So we stayed home a lot. But even if you are planning to go out, I would recommend staying home as much as possible. You are much more likely to discipline consistently from the comfort and privacy of your own home. 

Play with your children. There are always things to do in the house. But during these few days of Bootcamp, try to spend time with your kids and be with them as much as possible. That will provide more opportunities to guide them, talk with them, and correct when needed.

Those three tips really helped me get out of the rut I was in. It pushed me to see the sin in my daughter’s life and help her by guiding her into obedience through discipline. And it helped me be consistent throughout the day when I could totally focus on obedience with my daughter.

3. Pray Through Obedience Bootcamp

As you are focusing so much on obedience, do not forget to pray.

Including the Lord in your day-to-day life through prayer is one of the most encouraging things you can do as a parent. There’s never a reason not to pray. And, when you are in the trenches of Obedience Bootcamp is an excellent time to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonions 5:17).

Pray in your head before you have to discipline your child. Pray while you are speaking to them. Pray while you are playing with them. Pray for them when they go to sleep. Pray with them as they apologize for sin and ask for forgiveness. Pray for them to be forgiven. Pray for God to help them obey next time. Pray that they would have a heart of obedience. Pray for the Lord to save them. Pray for them to grow in grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Pray, pray, pray.

If you can’t focus on praying in your head, then just pray out loud. Your kids can hear your prayers and be encouraged as well as directed to God themselves.

Requiring obedience from our children cannot be done without the Lord’s help. He assures us that we should come before Him with confidence through Jesus Christ (Hebrews 4:16). So go before Him throughout these days of focused discipline training with your kids.

Being consistent is hard! We need God’s help to truly make changes in our own lives and in the lives of our children. So do not hesitate to call on Him when you do Obedience Bootcamp.

Results of Obedience Bootcamp

After our Obedience Bootcamp, I think I am the one it has helped the most! Sure, my daughter has definitely started listening more and obeying more. But it gave me a new confidence to do discipline and to be consistent in requiring obedience of her throughout the day. This reset helped to reset my thinking and got me motivated again to discipline and love her by doing so. 


What do you think? Are you going to give Obedience Bootcamp a try? Do you have other ideas for disciplining consistently or not being lazy as a parent? Let me know in the comments below, I need all the help I can get, obviously!

Resources

There are three books that I would recommend when it comes to disciplining and raising children. While I do not practice every single thing in these books, they are excellent resources, especially if you haven’t read much about parenting yet!

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Trip

Don’t Make Me Count to Three! by Ginger Hubbard

Parenting by Paul Tripp

*These are affiliate links, you can read my full disclosure here.

Related Posts:

How to Manage Phone Time

Social Media Tips

Excellence in Motherhood, Even When You’re Tired!

5 Ways to Share the Gospel with Your Kids Every Day

Help Your Toddler Memorize Scripture

Creating a Motherhood Routine

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Welcome! I’m Deborah. So glad you’re here!

Here you’ll find encouraging, Scripture-filled posts and Bible study tips. Because theology is for every mom! Get to know me here.

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    My day was full of nursing, diapering, scrubbing, My day was full of nursing, diapering, scrubbing, vacuuming, mopping, and home-schooling. Just as I was beginning to feel weary of all I had to do, I took a minute to cut some daisies from my garden and bring them inside. That small touch of beauty brought me joy. When we create beauty we reflect our Creator. And doing that today really turned my disposition around. ❤️ So next time you feel harried from your responsibilities as a mom, take a moment to make something beautiful. Maybe it will make you feel better too.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in their hearts, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end."
    It's an ongoing project. 😅 But that's why Jesu It's an ongoing project. 😅  But that's why Jesus said, "Come to me, you who are weary." We don't have to fix our lives or ourselves before coming to God. He's ready to clean us up for Himself and His glory. 💕
    God's promise to help me. ❤️ Hebrews 13:5 says God's promise to help me. ❤️ Hebrews 13:5 says that God is our helper. He knows what I'm dealing with each and every moment and He's there for me in each one. A few minutes after this moment of tension, the baby quieted down and went to sleep. Then we passed by honeysuckle that Aletheia pointed out and we got to breathe in the sweet smell. What a change in just a few short moments. 💕
    Our bassinet stroller has made this holiday so eas Our bassinet stroller has made this holiday so easy! We have the Baby Jogger City Mini GT with the detachable bassinet. It clips into place and I can push him anywhere. If he's asleep when we get back? No problem, I just detach it and set it close by. When it's time for bed I lay him inside and then carry it upstairs to my room when I'm ready to sleep. I have changed out the mat a few times when it gets covered in drool so that it's nice and dry for him to sleep in. I was a bit intimidated to travel with a baby so small, but so far it has been a dream. 😍 What's your #1 tip for traveling with a baby???
    Psalm 119 is the longest chapter of the Bible at 1 Psalm 119 is the longest chapter of the Bible at 176 verses! It is full of acrostic sections, one for each letter of the Hebrew aleph bet. 😉 The Psalmist goes on verse-by-verse about how much He loves God's laws. And you'd think after writing about how much God's Word has helped him and how he cherishes it for 175 verses that he's got his life figured out; he knows how to be a Christian. Well, here's what the final verse says, "I have gone astray like a lost sheep, seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments." What?! He is still lost and needs God's help. And, friend, that is also our story. No matter how much Bible study we do, we will always need more. How gracious of God to continue sanctifying us through His Word each and every day. ❤️📖

#PsalmsOfPraise
#FaithfulInPsalms
#MomLifeReflections
#InspiredByPsalms
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#BibleVerseInspo
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    I spent a lot of my life on tropical islands so I I spent a lot of my life on tropical islands so I am a summer girl through and through. Starbucks can keep their pumpkin spice latte for all I care (there's too much sugar in it for me anyway! 🤣). But deeper than my own preference of the season, I am learning to lay my preferences aside and try to enjoy and grow in each season I am in. Whether it's the spring, summer, autumn, or winter ... Whether it's hard seasons of motherhood like toddler tantrums, difficulty with mom friends, or disagreements with hubby on how to parent... God mercifully uses all those changes and seasons to mold and shape me to be more like Christ. He's masterfully directing my little life to bring Him glory and most of the time I feel like I'm just along for the ride! What are you learning in this season of your life? And, are you a pumpkin spice latte person or no? 😉

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To everything there is a season."

Romans 8:28 "God works all things together for good to those who love Him."

#SummerBlessings
#JoyfulSummerDays
#FaithInSummer
#GodsCreation
#FamilyFunInTheSun
#SunshineAndSoulshine
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#MakingMemoriesForJesus
    This video sums up my life lately. And the caption This video sums up my life lately. And the caption sums up my feelings about it. ❤️ soak up those precious moments with your kids, mamas! They go by quickly.
    Rainy mornings are not my favorite... They usually Rainy mornings are not my favorite... They usually make me feel like doing nothing! But I've realized that if I get up and out of the house, even for just a short walk, my outlook changes for the better. How kind of God to give us such simple joys like scooter rides, river paths, and wispy willows over canals. And even kinder to use them to strengthen and lift our spirits when we are down. 💕

1 The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.  2 Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.  3 There is no speech, nor are there words, whose voice is not heard.  4 Their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. (Psalm 19:1-4, ESV)
    1. Make your own salad dressing! 🥗 It's serious 1. Make your own salad dressing! 🥗 It's seriously so simple! Here's a quick recipe:

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1 teaspoon honey
Pinch of salt
A few twists of freshly cracked pepper

Twizzle it up, adjust to taste, and pour over salad!

Not only is it easy, but it keeps those nasty, seed-oil filled dressings from the store out of your kitchen. 

And my next hack is even better, 2: use a frother for your homemade salad dressing! I did this one day when I was in a hurry and I've never looked back. 😎

What's your #1 kitchen hack? Leave it in a comment!

#ChristianHomemaking
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    With all the NEW things that you need to do with a With all the NEW things that you need to do with a newborn, there are 3 things that I've actually STOPPED doing... Maybe you should too!

1. Washing the dishes at night. 🧼
Guess what, they will be there in the morning! I come to the end of the long day and am so tired. Pushing myself to stay up and wash the dishes is not the right choice in this season. So I leave them to be, shower, and go to bed.

2. Listening to podcasts. 🎧
I used to keep up with so many podcasts! But since I've had my baby (and, tbh, even a few months before 😅) I haven't listened to any podcasts. We constantly have input into our brains with social media and the internet. My mind just needs a break! It has helped me focus more on the tasks at hand and being available for my daughter's many questions.

3. Trying to catch up on my Bible reading plan. 📖
Bible reading plans are my bread and butter; they help me get my reading done every day. But I do sometimes still miss a day here or there. I used to always just double up one day and play catch up so that I can stay on track. Well, I've stopped doing that. Now if I miss a day or many days I just read what's on the plan for today. That way I'm still reading and not overwhelmed with a large chunk that I can't get thru.

Evaluating what I do each and every day has become a wonderful practice for me. I'm thankful to God for helping me see what I can handle right now and what I can't. And then cutting out those things that are too much. Homemaking, motherhood, and life in general is a constant balancing and honing. Rest in God's direction as you make changes and grow.

So what are you going to stop doing today? 💕
    ​ I was so worried about how the age gap in my ​

I was so worried about how the age gap in my children would affect their relationship. Would the 5-year gap make it more difficult? Maybe my daughter would be annoyed with a little baby because she's older. Would she get jealous because most of my time will need to go to the newborn and not her? Will it be hard to manage having a newborn and occupying a 5-year-old at the same time?

Well, I'm now almost 3 months into this mother-of-two journey and I can say that I shouldn't have worried one bit.

If she's not cuddling him, she's doing a craft right next to him, she can't get enough of her little brother. But I can't blame her, he is just so cute!

In my head, I always pictured myself having children close together. So to have a gap of 5 years feels strange! But it just goes to show the truth of one of my favorite Proverbs: "Man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9).

What I thought would be the best thing for me as a mom is not what God has planned. But that's good! It's made me trust Him and His timing even more. 💕

#FaithfulMothering #TrustingGodParenting #ChristianMomLife #GodlyParenting #RaisingFaithfulKids #MomTrustsGod #FaithfulParenting #GodlyMotherhood #TrustingHisPlan #BiblicalParenting
    This has to be different for each person. For me, This has to be different for each person. For me, I find resting well to be MUCH more difficult than working hard. Especially since I've had my baby, every spare minute goes to a chore or task. A friend reminded me on Sunday that all the housework will be there later and that I need to rest more often. I took that to heart and left my kitchen a mess that night instead of cleaning up before bed. And now I'm looking for even more ways to rest as I navigate life with two children. 💕

What about you? Are you more prone to work hard or rest well? Let me know in a comment! 👇
    I love finding a single verse to hold onto during I love finding a single verse to hold onto during the day. Whether it's from my Bible reading or just one I've known for a while. But when I get to read the whole chapter or book for that verse I am even more encouraged by the immediate context of the passage. 

I've known Romans 5:8 for a long time (20+ years!). But reading the whole chapter this morning really put it into a better perspective for me. What do you think?

1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,  4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,  5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person-though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-  8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.  10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life.  11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.  12 Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned-  13 for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law.  14 Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come... (Last verses in comments!)
    Often we look to our Bible reading to turn our day Often we look to our Bible reading to turn our day around or give us some nugget of spiritual insight that will change our lives. It's not wrong to look for those things, but if you read and they don't happen know that that's okay too. Coming back to the Bible day after day no matter what is the important habit to form. 

So go read yours today! 💕

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

#ChristianMom
#FaithfulMother
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    ...Because I do it too now! 😅 though I don't al ...Because I do it too now! 😅 though I don't always recommend this practice, I'm learning to sometimes just let the dishes, laundry, and vacuuming be. Trying to do everything at once will result in lots of jobs half done. So making loving and guiding the children THE job for now. 💕

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NASB)
"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk on the road, and when you lie down, and when you rise up."
    My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the str My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26.

Literally the verb is simply fail, not “may fail.” This God-besotted psalmist, Asaph, says, “My flesh and my heart fail!” I am despondent! I am discouraged! But then immediately he fires a broadside against his despondency: “But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

The psalmist does not yield to discouragement. He battles unbelief with counterattack. 

In essence, he says, “In myself I feel very weak and helpless and unable to cope. My body is shot, and my heart is almost dead. But whatever the reason for this despondency, I will not yield. I will trust God and not myself. He is my strength and my portion.” 

The Bible is replete with instances of saints struggling with sunken spirits. Psalm 19:7 says, “The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.” This is a clear admission that the soul of the saint sometimes needs to be revived. And if it needs to be revived, in a sense it was “dead.” That’s the way it felt.

David says the same thing in Psalm 23:2–3, “He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.” The soul of the “man after [God’s] own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14) needs to be restored. It was dying of thirst and ready to fall exhausted, but God led the soul to water and gave it life again. 

God has put these testimonies in the Bible so that we might use them to fight the unbelief of despondency. And we fight with the blast of faith in God’s promises: “God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” We preach that to ourselves. And we thrust it into Satan’s face. And we believe it. -- John Piper, Future Grace, 303-304
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#psalms #psalm #biblestudy #biblestudynotes #bibleverses #psalmsofthesummer #biblicaltruth #biblicaltheology #biblicalliving #theology #theologymatters #theologystudent #reformedtheology #oldtestament #christianmama #proverbs31mom #gloriousmotherhood #belovedlife  #christcenteredmama #inspiremotherhood #documentlife #writeyouonmyheart #joyfulmamas #nothingisordinary #letthembelittle #honestmotherhood #gracebasedmotherhood #gracefilledmotherhood #motheringforchrist
    Besides church on Sundays, most of my days lately Besides church on Sundays, most of my days lately have been spent at home with my 7-week-old. Today we went out to the city centre to see one of my favorite views: the hydrangeas at Magdalen College. 🥹 Wow, were they worth the effort! ❤️
    Being a new mom over again has filled my heart wit Being a new mom over again has filled my heart with an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude, and I can't help but thank God for all the little things that make this postpartum season so special.

The tiny fingers that grip my own, the sweet coos that fill the air, the little bit of hair on the back of his neck, the way he glances up while he's nursing... All these little things are little blessings. It's not all rosy, but it's not lost on me how special it is to have a little baby in my arms day in and day out. 🤱

James 1:17 says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no shadow of turning."

every precious moment, every little joy, and every blessing in this postpartum season comes directly from the loving hand of our Heavenly Father. His gifts are perfect and I don't want to forget these small ones. 💕

#ThankfulHeart #PostpartumGratitude #BlessedMomma #LittleThingsInLife #GodsLove #MotherhoodJourney #FaithfulInMotherhood
    As I'm coming into the 5th week of postpartum, her As I'm coming into the 5th week of postpartum, here are my top 4 Postpartum Tips for you!

1. Listen to your body 👂. Remember that you just gave birth and will need time to gain your strength! If you feel like resting all day and can do it, do it. If you feel like going for a walk, go. 

2. Let the chores go 🧹. I mean, do what you can/really need to, but don't stress about getting the chores done right away. Ask for help and leave what you can undone.

3. Drink water! 💦 Your hormones have been on a trip and still are during the postpartum period. So you need to flush your system with water! Especially if you're breastfeeding, you need to drink more water. I aim for 3L per day and it's a bonus if I remember to put a pinch of salt in too!

4. Read your Bible or a devotional on your phone. 📲 Normally I wouldn't give this advice, but when you have a baby in your arms most of the day, you need to find a way to stay in the Bible. And your phone might just be your best bet at this point. I always have the Grace to You Bible app on my phone for Bible reading. And then I keep Spurgeon's Morning and Evening devotional (it's excerpts from his sermons) on my phone as well. That way I always have something to read when sitting so much and nursing!

I have been so thankful for the special weeks right after birth this time around. Here's to finding more ways to treasure it! 💕
    June was fast and full. ❤️ June was fast and full. ❤️
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