Today you are due.
But eternity has already come for you.
One day, I will go home too.
And, at last, be with you.
But ’til then, I stand in awe,
Of the holy God who saw,
It fit to grace me with a little one I will not hold,
Who will not grow old,
Who sits with the One,
Ever in His matchless love.
I love you, little one. And this week you are missed.
It does feel odd to be sad at Christmas time. There’s just so much to be happy about when it comes to the Savior’s birth. And I never thought that I would be sad at Christmas time. But with the holiday only a few days away, here I am… sad.
You see, today would’ve been my baby’s due date. My little quarantine baby was supposed to be in my arms today. At least, supposed to in my plans. The Lord’s plans were obviously different.
And while grief, mourning of a little one, is never easy (read my miscarriage stories here and here), I am finding that…
Christmas is actually the best time to grieve.
Why? You may ask. Because Christmas is about the One who came to earth to bear ALL of our griefs, all of our suffering, all of our pain.
Isaiah prophesied Jesus’ coming when he said that “surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.” Jesus came as a little baby to bear our grief, even the ultimate grief, sin. (Read the Gospel here).
That is what makes Christmas worth celebrating. Not just that Mary carried our Savior in her womb and then in her arms (which is amazing all on it’s own). But that she carried Him, and then He grew to die for us. That He came to be our ultimate sacrifice, our ultimate caregiver, our ultimate comforter, our Redeemer, and Savior.
So, while my heart is full of grief, it is not sorrowful. And I will celebrate joyfully the coming of my Savior who will make all wrongs right, who sovereignly orchestrates the universe, and who cares for our hearts, even when they are broken.
Whether you are grieving a miscarriage like me, or a loved one, or just all the change, loss, and general craziness that has happened this year, look to your Savior who came down for you at Christmas. Rejoice in Him this week. Revel in all the joy He brings. Thank Him for taking our biggest grief, sin, and nailing it to the cross in Himself.
And have a Merry Christmas!