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Ep. 17 Dressing Modestly | Theology of Clothing
Faith

Ep. 17 Dressing Modestly | Theology of Clothing

June 1, 2022

Do you know who invented the first clothes? Well, at least the first clothes that would stay together and actually cover things? You’ll find out today as we are talking all about the hot topic of modesty and how Christian women should dress.

So, do you know who invented the first functional clothes? God! We read in Genesis that after Adam and Eve sinned by eating the fruit they were not supposed to, they created coverings for themselves. Then we read that those coverings were not covering enough and God created clothing for them that did (that’s in Genesis 3:7 & 3:21).

So does that make God the first modesty police? I don’t think so. But it does show us that modesty is important. You see, God created the clothing in the first place so that Adam and Eve would not be ashamed because of their sin. Our clothes are a direct result of the fall. We need clothing so that we do not feel ashamed or guilty. 

But that’s not the only text that speaks of modesty. There are many New Testament passages regarding modesty and how a woman should act and dress. Modesty is also one way that we represent God to the world and culture around us, that means we need to take it seriously and understand what the Bible says about it!

So in this episode we’ll cover some scriptural points about Modesty and how that should affect us as Christian women striving to honor the Lord. Then I’ll end with some practical tips and suggestions to be modest in how you dress in your own life. Modesty can be a very controversial and heated topic, but I want to keep it light today and talk about it from the viewpoint of Scripture. Come along!

What is Modesty?

At the root of it, modesty is a heart issue, it’s about our attitude.

In many Christian circles we have turned modesty into nothing but a set of rules and regulations. But modesty is not just about how short your skirt is, how much skin is showing, or whether you wear a bikini to the beach or not. All of those things are part of being modest, but that’s not solely what modesty is. 

There are several passages in Scripture that show modesty as an attitude adjustment, but let’s look at one in particular.

First Peter 3:3-6 says, “Your adornment must not be merely the external — braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way the holy women of former times, who hoped in God, also used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; and you have proved to be her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”

Did you notice how much it talks about our attitudes and not just what we wear? Peter was not merely telling women to not braid their hair or wear jewelry. He was encouraging them to focus on their attitude!

What makes you beautiful is your attitude before the Lord.

Peter goes on to use Sarah as an example of this beauty. You remember Sarah, right? She’s the one whose husband packed up and moved because the Lord told him to and he didn’t even know where he was going. Sarah is also the one who was barren for MANY years and the Lord gave her a promised son when she was 90-years-old! 

Was Sarah beautiful because she wore braids in her hair or had fine jewelry in her ears? While those things are beautiful in and of themselves, they did not define her beauty. Peter says that her modest, submissive, obedient, fearless heart before the Lord is what adorned her, not what she was wearing.

Examine Your Heart

Because modesty is not only about what you wear, before you look in the mirror to see if what you are wearing is appropriate, you must look into your own heart and see what your attitude is like. Pray like David did, “Search me and know me, and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” That’s Psalm 139, verses 23-24.

To be frank, there’s really no point in looking at a list of rules or suggestions for modest dressing before examining your own heart on the subject. The rules and lists will not help you unless your attitude is right place before the Lord, that’s truly what matters.

Ask the Lord to search your heart, but also ask Him to show your motives for what you wear. Here are some questions to get you started.

  • Are you wearing certain clothes because you want to make other people notice you (men and women)?
  • Do you only wear your clothes so that you will be trendy and look like that Instagram influencer you follow?
  • Are you looking to your clothing and makeup to find your beauty?
  • Do you want to impress those around you by the way you dress?

As you search your heart with the Lord’s help, remember that humility is a precursor to modest dressing. Paul said in Colossians 3:12 that as God’s children we are to “put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Emphasis added). That means that humility, having a low view of one’s self, should be put on much like we put on our clothes everyday. 

Modesty in dress can only come from a modest, humble attitude. So, that is where we must start.

How to Dress Modestly

**Hopefully you did not scroll past those first two sections to get here, looking for a list of rules. If you did, please go back! It’s SO important to look at modesty as a heart issue instead of only looking to a list of rules to guide us in how we dress.

I will share my own modesty guidelines below, but the truth is that they are probably different for every person. There are some big categories that we can probably all agree on (like not showing your private parts or underwear), but the nit-picky things like if a skirt should be two inches above your knee instead of four will not all be the same for everyone.

That’s why having a modest heart will lead you to having modesty in the way you dress. There are so many differences in dressing modestly throughout the world that I do not think there is a check-list to cover all the differences. We must have humble hearts and trust the Holy Spirit’s guiding in our own life.

If you are a woman who fears the Lord, you will know that charm is deceitful and beauty is passing from Proverbs 31:30 and that will inform you whether what you are wearing is modest or not.

Remember that the Holy Spirit is living inside of you to help and guide you throughout all of life, even what you wear! 

So, my first tip is this: if you are getting dressed and you feel like your shirt is too tight, your skirt is too short, and your bikini is inappropriate, or whatever it may be, don’t wear it!

When you’ve searched your heart and your conscience is informed with Scripture, you need to listen to it in regards to modesty. Don’t wear a piece of clothing that makes you feel uncomfortable or is on the edge of what you think to be modest. Even if you just second-guess an item of clothing, it’s better to not wear it. The fact that you were second-guessing is a sign that it’s most likely not modest and shouldn’t be worn.

In preparing for this episode I read the book Modesty by Martha Peace and Kent Keller. It is a great resource for an even deeper dive to modesty and I highly recommend it. In that book, Pastor Kent shares a very helpful acronym to use when you are getting dressed everyday: J. O. Y. — Joy. I’m going to explain it in my own words below so that you can use it as a tool when you get ready every day.

J — As you get dressed, look into the mirror and think of Jesus. Does what you are wearing reflect Him? Does your outfit point to the modest character of Christ in you? These questions may quickly remove an outfit from your line up. 

O — Think of others when you get dressed. As you go throughout your day, of course you’re going to see other people, so you must think of them as you get dressed. Ask yourself if your outfit is going to love others by not drawing attention to yourself. Will it draw men’s eyes because it’s provocative? Will your low-cut top cause other women to be jealous? 

As women, we must remember that men lust. (Women do too, but in a different way). While we are not solely responsible for a man’s lusting after us, we can help them by dressing modestly. This is one way to show love to our brothers in Christ: not causing them to stumble. 

Y — Once you have thought of Jesus and Others with your outfit and you’ve done all you can to be modest, then the choices are up to you! God has given us many freedoms in Christ and one of them IS in how we dress. As long as you are dressing within the guidelines of modesty that the Lord has shown you in your own humble attitude, then you are free to make any other choices regarding clothing. There are not colors, patterns, or styles that in and of themselves are immodest. You don’t need to walk around in a potato sack. So have fun with how you dress! Enjoy this freedom in Christ of choosing what you wear and enjoying wearing it. 

Beauty for Christ

In fact, I think another way that we represent Christ to the world is not just by being modest, but by being beautiful. We get the chance to take this one step further than mere modesty. So while we don’t want to make beauty an idol, there’s nothing wrong with and I think we should actually pursue being beautiful.

God has chosen us as His representatives to the world. So to represent the beautiful, masterful God that we serve, why wouldn’t we pursue beauty in our own lives? There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing cute, flattering clothing or wearing makeup to enhance our natural beauty that God has given us. In fact, I encourage it! If you are married, looking beautiful for your husband is an extra bonus. Pursuing beauty in our appearance is yet another freedom we have in Christ to enjoy. And to the Christian, we see God’s beauty in a beautiful person and that is reason to praise Him and rejoice in what He’s made. David did this in Psalm 139 when he said, “I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” See how David praises God for the unique and beautiful way God made him? We also read about the church’s beauty in Song of Solomon. The bride in that book is described as a beautifully attractive woman. And the bride in that book is a representative of the church. The church should be a beautifully attractive woman both in character and in outward appearance.

Of course, our beauty we have now is a gift of God and is only a foretaste of what’s to come. He will make us perfectly beautiful in the new creation where those in Christ are wedded to Him and will be made holy forever. But we will still have clothing in that wedding ceremony. Revelation 19:8 says, “It was given to her [the bride, or the church] to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean.” So our clothing and our beauty are two ways that we point to Christ.

That’s what modesty is about, a humble attitude before the Lord reflected in and shown to the world by what we wear.

How to Dress Modestly | My Own Guidelines

Now that we’ve established that modesty is from the heart and it’s truly the Holy Spirit that will guide you when it comes to modesty, I want to share my own practical guidelines that I’ve found to be modest for myself. Again, it’s going to be different for every person and these are not rules that I think you should follow. This is what works for me. Currently, I am a stay-at-home mom to my daughter and that is something to keep in mind. Your clothes have to be modest for whatever you are planning to do throughout the day. So here are my guidelines in no particular order.

Skirt and dress length: I like to have my dresses and skirts at midi length (just below the knee). Not only is this length flattering, but I feel that it is the easiest length to remain modest throughout the day. At this length, my skirt doesn’t ride up when I kneel down to be with my daughter and I can easily sit on the floor without having to pull my skirt to cover my crotch. I do occasionally wear shorter skirts and dresses, but I will wear leggings or tights underneath for more coverage.

Tops: I check several things when I am getting a new top. No cleavage should show (that is a private part!). And no midriff either. I always make sure to see if my shirt comes up too high when I raise my hands above my head. If it shows my tummy when I do that, it’s out. I do keep several camisoles in my wardrobe that provide more coverage in the bust line when the top cuts down lower.

Pants/Trousers: (Side note, here in England, the words pants means underwear! So for any Brits listening, I mean trousers). I do wear pants and jeans. I think that pants and jeans can definitely be appropriate and practical. However, I stick to jeans and dress pants for my bottom half and do not wear leggings as pants. Garments with lots of stretch in them, like leggings, are really comfortable, but I do not find them appropriate as they show off too much of my body. When leggings are practically showing your skin but just in the color black, they should not be worn as trousers or pants. So if I wear leggings, I either stay inside my home or wear some other garment over them (like shorts when exercising, a dress, or a skirt for other occasions.)

Shorts: I check that my shorts are at least to my finger-tips when standing up. I’ve found that if they are shorter than that, it’s showing too much skin and could easily show other things (like undergarments!). So I stick to finger length. It’s nicer to have longer shorts so that I don’t have to worry when I’m sitting on the floor with my daughter or bending over to pick things up.

Beach wear: I do not think bikinis are appropriate for the beach. They show a lot of skin and parts of the body that should really only be for your husband. Bikinis actually have a really interesting history in how they were created. You can watch the Youtube video about it here. It might convince you to throw yours out too. And, no, “the beach” or “swimming” or “very hot weather in Southern California” are not reasons to throw modesty out the window. We are still representing Christ no matter the weather. With a little effort, I have always found two piece swimsuits that are modest. There are many tankini styles that have tank-top straps and cover your tummy. There are even some that have shorts on the bottom instead of bikini style. That’s what I would recommend and choose for myself.

Those are my guidelines that I try to follow! But, as I said, it is different for everyone and it changes throughout your life time as well based on what you are doing. What I wear now might not be what I’m comfortable with later, and that’s fine! Listening to the guidance of the Holy Spirit in your life is the key. 

Dressing Modestly In Your Life | Practical Tips

Before I end this episode, I just want to share a few more practical tips when it comes to actually choosing what to wear.

Make the mirror your friend. Mirrors are a blessing and can be very helpful as you get dressed in the morning. No, I don’t mean that you need to stare in the mirror for an hour. But use the mirror as a tool to check your modesty. Bend over in the mirror and look up, you’ll see exactly what everyone else will see when you bend over that day. Turn around and look at your backside, your shorts might be showing more than you thought. Sit down with your skirt on to see how short it is. Whatever it may be, take a few minutes to look in the mirror and that will help you start your day modestly.

When in doubt, throw it out. What I mean by that is if you are second-guessing something you are wearing, then don’t wear it. The Holy Spirit is most likely showing you exactly what you shouldn’t wear and you need to listen to that guiding in your life.

Ask your husband. For all of you married ladies, I think you have the best resource for modesty dressing right in your house: your husband! Make use of the leader that God has given you and ask your husband if what you have on is modest and appropriate. This is a very direct way to receive guidance from God about what you should wear. Our husbands are not infallible, but they are placed over us by God and we should submit to them. Including him in your outfit choices for the day is just one simple way to do this. If he’s not home when you are getting dressed, a quick selfie in that friend the mirror can really help!

Ask your friends. If you are really not sure about what you are wearing and you’re not married ask a Christian girlfriend or mentor. Maybe you’ve not tried dressing modestly before and it’s all new to you, it’s totally okay and helpful to ask other people for their help! Find someone at church that dresses modestly and ask them where they buy their clothing or maybe they’d like to go shopping with you. This is an opportunity to lean into the body of Christ, the church, and get help from others.

Dressing Modestly

There’s probably a lot more that could be said about dressing modestly. If you’d like to read more about it, I do recommend that book by Martha Peace as a deep dive. I also wrote a post for the ministry For the Gospel that is more of a biblical theological overview of modesty in the Bible which you can read here. But I pray that you have seen from this episode that modesty is an important aspect of being a Christian woman. We can honor the Lord in how we dress and that you don’t need to dress frumpily to do so. Our beauty and modesty points to Christ and represents Him well to the world. 

I know this is kind of a hot topic in Christian circles today and this has just been my two cents. But if you’d like to chat more, I love connecting on Instagram at NaptimeTheologian or leave a comment over on my blog Naptimetheologian.com and we can discuss more. Have a great day today and thanks for listening!


This post contains affiliate links, you can read my full disclosure here.

Related Posts:

My Winter Capsule Wardrobe | Navy, Blush, and Gray

How to Create a Capsule Wardrobe

Does God Care What Women Wear? [For the Gospel Blog Post]

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Ep. 16 Snakes, Deception, and Clothing | Genesis 3:1-7 | Book by Book
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Welcome! I’m Deborah. So glad you’re here!

Here you’ll find encouraging, Scripture-filled posts and Bible study tips. Because theology is for every mom! Get to know me here.

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    We are called to know and love the Scriptures that We are called to know and love the Scriptures that God has given us. The most meaningful example of this for me is what David wrote in Psalm 119. That Psalm is 176 verses of praises and benefits of knowing the Scriptures. David loved them! And how can we come to know and love the Scriptures like that without reading them on a regular basis?

And when we look to the New Testament, Jesus constantly quoted Scripture, elevating it to a high place and showing us that we need to know it as well. And then in the epistles we are encouraged to encourage one another with Scripture and Psalms. How can we do all of this if we aren’t reading the Bible every day? So it is clear that we need to be immersed in the Words of Scripture. They are truly the Words of life because they come directly from God and we need them to live each day of our lives here on earth.

To help you read the Bible this summer, I've put together the Psalms of the Summer 2023 Bible Reading plan. 🎉  This plan will take you through the book of Psalms 3 times throughout this summer. Once in June, once in July, and once in August. And there are 3 Psalms selected to memorize along with your Bible reading. I will be following this plan as well.

Why am I reading through Psalms so much this summer? Well, I have actually dedicated the last 3 summers to studying the Psalms exclusively in my quiet times and Bible readings. It has been so encouraging to really dig deeply into this book of the Bible throughout the summertime months. I also realized that when I use the Bible Reading Challenge plan throughout the year, I am only reading a Psalm here or there along with another passage. I believe the book of Psalms should be read in order and studied that way. So when I have the extra time in the summer, I read through the Psalms chapter by chapter… and it’s amazing!

I’d love for you to join me in reading through the Psalms this summer. I will need accountability as I am going to have a newborn this summer! So please click over to my blog at my bio link and download the free Bible reading plan for the Psalms of the Summer. Print it and stick it in your Bible to start reading on June 1st with me, that's Thursday! 💕
    39 weeks and 5 days! 😍 This is actually the lon 39 weeks and 5 days! 😍 This is actually the longest I've been pregnant because my daughter came at 39 weeks. I am so looking forward to having a newborn again. But at the same time, I've done it before and I know how hard it is! 🫠 

One thing that has always helped me when mom life becomes more demanding is reading my Bible daily. So, for this summer, I put together a new Bible Reading plan that I'll be following and it's available on my blog now for you too! Having a plan printed on paper in my Bible is the best option for me, but what about you? How do you stay in your Bible when you have so much going on as a mother? Let me know in the comments! 😀
    "Finding your tribe" is overrated. When I lived ba "Finding your tribe" is overrated.
When I lived back in Los Angeles, I had one mom friend in particular who agreed with me on pretty much everything (I think the sole exception was headcovering). We were often texting each other about what first foods we’d give our babies and what non-toxic baby products we found at cheap prices. It was great! There was a certain ease that came with being friends simply because we agreed and enjoyed a lot of the same things. When I moved here to England, I found that the fastest and easiest way to make new friends was through my church. Both because it was a new place and because we moved when there were still covid restrictions and church was one of the only things we could go to. Now, that means that I have become friends with lots of different people at church who have lots of different viewpoints in parenting and life. 

I’ve learned that being a good mom friend should not always be about finding the moms that will agree with you on everything. It’s about finding the moms who also love Jesus and live for Him and letting that connect you instead. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is a lot of fun to bond over things like sourdough bread, or co-sleeping, or flower-arranging, or being a traditional wife/homemaker.. But how much more impactful is it to bond over things like worshiping Sunday by Sunday together, praying for one another during the week, studying Scripture together at Bible study, and encouraging each other to keep serving the Lord? 

All the trends that we enjoy that bind us together could never bind us together like our bond in Christ. He’s the one who causes us to live together in harmony and builds beautiful friendships among His people. 

So, finding your tribe is overrated. Go out and find your local church and get connected there instead.

Galatians 3:26-28, “For you are all sons and daughters of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
    Okay, here’s what I’ve been thinking in regard Okay, here’s what I’ve been thinking in regard to the #tradwife movement as I’ve seen it here on Instagram. 

Comparison is a thief of joy. As with any trend, we see it and want to make it happen in our own life and home. Now, don’t get me wrong, I actually do a lot of the things that would be considered part of the #tradwife trend… cook everything from scratch, wear pretty, floral dresses, take walks with my child, homeschool, etc... I mean, most of my time right now is literally spent pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen! While all of those things are good and there’s no problem with doing them, they are not the end-all be-all of being a good mother or homemaker. We must look back to the Scripture for definitions of both womanhood and motherhood (and even homemaker-hood from Proverbs 31!). Remember that 1 Peter 3 lays out our role as wives pretty well and it doesn’t have distinctions like what our kitchens or our outfits should specifically look like (except being modest, of course). It says, “In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely the external–braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”

So, don’t compare your life so much to what you see online that you feel unhappy with what God has given you. You are not any less of a good homemaker or wife because you have a rental kitchen with a pink wall and very modern cabinets instead of open, wood shelving and a collection of brass pots. As long as you are living your life according to the Scriptures, then you are doing what the Lord has called you to do and that should bring you joy.

..........................

What have you thought about this traditional wife movement? I have another post coming after this, so look for it!
    I came to the realization that even if it did happ I came to the realization that even if it did happen again, if I did lose this baby too, God would still be faithful. I have already walked that road with Him two times and I can do it again in His faithfulness. Of course, it would be sad. But I trust God. He knows whether or not I need to hold this baby in my arms or only in my womb. So, instead of letting my heart worry, I purposed to rejoice in His kindness to give me another baby for however long He wills. 

Isaiah 40:11 helps me when I have anxious thoughts. It says, “Like a shepherd He [God] will tend His flock, In His arm He will gather the lambs and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing lambs.” God has tender care for us moms, He knows what we deal with in each pregnancy. And that truth tells me that should the worst happen in my life, whatever it may be, God will carry me in His arms, He will be faithful.

I love the Old Testament book of Lamentations. It is a very sad and chaotic book. The Israelites are being afflicted, their enemies are overtaking them, and it seems as if there is no hope. But right in the middle of the whole book, in the chaos, it says in Lamentations 3:21-24, “This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail, they are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘Therefore I have hope in Him.’”

In the middle of the chaos in our lives, in the times when we just have storm after storm, we can still have hope. God’s lovingkindness is there and He is faithful.

Even if we never have another child after loss or never have children at all, God is faithful. We’re not promised a certain number of kids in Scripture, but we are promised that God is for us and not against us, that Jesus gave His life for us, and so much more. So we can trust God and His faithfulness. I’m so thankful that it’s not dependent on what happens in my life. He will be faithful with or without a “rainbow baby.”

So, I won’t be calling this baby my rainbow baby, but I will be constantly so grateful for this new baby, it is more than anything I could ever deserve. 💕
    The term “rainbow baby” describes babies who a The term “rainbow baby” describes babies who are born after the mother has lost a previous pregnancy or multiple pregnancies. They are supposed to be a symbol of the “beauty that comes after a storm.” 

There is also the more Christian definition from the story of Noah. God sent a rainbow after the worldwide flood as a sign of His promise to never flood the earth again in such a way. And maybe we should read Genesis 6 over more often because I have found this Christian definition rather problematic when we think of it in light of what the Bible says.

When we read the story of Noah in the Bible and when we picture it in our head, we think of Noah and his family in the ark with the animals, the rain coming, and then, once the waters subside, the world being beautiful and happy, lush and green, the perfect place to live. 

Now, I’m sure that the vegetation under the water from the flood was green and growing when Noah and his family came off the ark. But the reality of the situation after the flood is that the earth would’ve been covered in the remains of death. The flood killed everyone and everything that wasn’t on the ark. All those bodies and debris were still somewhere. So, there probably was grass growing, but growing with the signs of destruction and chaos everywhere.

When Noah and his family stepped off the ark, they didn’t immediately give offerings to God in worship because of beauty. They did it because they had been miraculously saved from the destruction that surrounded them. So God gave Noah the sign of the rainbow to show His faithfulness in preserving His people. Noah and his family could continue looking for the seed who would crush the serpent’s head that God promised in Genesis 3:15 because they were alive and not killed in the flood.

So, the flood was not just any other storm and I think it is not wise to compare the hard things in our lives, the storms as we call them, to the flood that totally destroyed the world. The sign of the rainbow in the Bible is much, much more than simply the beauty after a storm. It is God’s covenant faithfulness on display to His people after a horribly needed judgment on the entire planet.
    Going to the hospital for an ultrasound has felt r Going to the hospital for an ultrasound has felt really strange! Back in LA my doctor would do one in her little office to check on the baby. Here in Oxford, they're all done in the hospital... Which is usually the place to avoid!  I had my last one yesterday and everything looks great, praise God! That means I won't be back at the hospital again if all goes to plan because... I'm going to have a homebirth this time! 😍

The midwives here in England actually encourage you to have a homebirth if possible. They see better outcomes for mom and baby and it keeps the hospitals open for those who really need it. I've really enjoyed my midwife and her approach to pregnancy and birth. 

Did you have a homebirth? Leave me any tips in the comments below! 💕🤱
    As mothers, we can trust that God knows all the da As mothers, we can trust that God knows all the days of our children, even if they were only a few days or weeks in our wombs. Praise Him for His faithfulness to us in the difficult times of raising babies! 💕
    So, this current pregnancy is actually my 4th preg So, this current pregnancy is actually my 4th pregnancy. I have one daughter who is 5-years-old and then I had two pregnancies after her that ended in very early miscarriage.

One thing I’ve learned from having miscarriages is this: 

every life, no matter how long, should be known and celebrated. 

I only knew about my two other babies for a few short days before they were gone. Those two little lines on the pregnancy tests told me they were there, but then they were gone before the first ultrasound. 

But as their mama, those little lives are still precious to me. They still lived and they were little persons for those days that they lived. And I know that those lives are precious to God because He created them.

In both of my miscarriage experiences, God showed Himself to be faithful. But in looking back, I now see the need to tell other people early on about pregnancy and I wish I had done that then.

There’s a certain assurance in telling other people you are pregnant that I really needed. Not assurance that the pregnancy is going to go through without a problem. But assurance that your friends, church, and family will be there for you if it doesn’t.

This time around, I did tell people a lot earlier on. No, it wasn’t a big announcement on social media with a cute onesie. But I texted my family and in-laws. And then I also texted the ladies at my church, telling them I had just found out and asking them to pray because I have had miscarriages before. Those messages back from family and friends were nothing special, they mostly said, “Congratulations! We’re praying for you!” But those simple words were profoundly encouraging. They knew about this little life that I had inside and they were part of it with me, for worse or for better. And, I knew that they would be praying alongside me for this pregnancy and baby.
    Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon at a garden Yesterday I spent the whole afternoon at a garden centre. It was chock full of beauty. The plants, the seed packets, the tools, the bird houses… you name it, it was beautiful. 

But as I looked at the beautiful plants, potted with compost and some towering high, I was a bit sad and felt like I was missing out. One of the joys of cultivating a beautiful back garden (or an allotment!) would be to buy a big bush plant and settle it in, enjoying it year after year. For me, as someone who is most likely moving within the next year to who knows where, I won’t get that year-after-year return on the work I’m doing right now in my garden. Though I was feeling sad, I said to myself, "wait a minute!" I have plenty of ways to invest and enjoy in my garden right now without waiting for the year-after-year return. I can sow lettuces or radishes and harvest them within a month. I can plant flower seeds and they'll grow and bloom by July. And, so what if I'm not here year after year to enjoy it? It's still nice while I can be here!

And that little lesson from the garden centre also applies to other areas of my life as I live in places briefly, especially when it comes to friendships. I can sometimes be led to think that it’s not worth the effort to make friends or get to know people when we will be moving on to another place shortly. But that is not true! The investment and work in friendships, even for a short time, is worth it. It is beautiful to get to know new people and love and serve alongside them, or serve them directly. That brings glory to God, even if there’s not a year-after-year return in store for me. And, with an eternal perspective, we will have year after year after year of return on our investments in God's Kingdom. Using our time to love and serve others is never a waste.

1 Corinthians 15:55 says that we should “excel in the work of the Lord, knowing that our labor is not in vain in the Lord.”
    Living abroad has definitely been an adventure! I Living abroad has definitely been an adventure! I had so many ideas of what I thought England would be like before moving here. It's actually pretty beautiful. ❤️ And I can't wait to enjoy the British summer again this year! 😎

Do you like the summertime better than other seasons? ☀️⛱️🌊
    Just in case you need to hear it today: ✨Nothi Just in case you need to hear it today: 

✨Nothing will replace reading the actual Bible to your children. ✨

There are many good children's Bibles and books out there and they can be very helpful. But nothing, absolutely nothing, will take the place of reading the actual Words of Life to your child/children.

We had some silliness during this morning's reading. As I told my daughter that we need to be reverent when reading the Bible she, of course, asked why. And I said, "Because these are God's Words!" What a blessing to read them and know them. 

May they be precious to you today, friends. ❤️

Psalm 119:18 "Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Your law."
    "There is no death of sin without the death of Chr "There is no death of sin without the death of Christ." -- John Owen

And that, my friends, is why today is called Good Friday, for it is good indeed.
    32 weeks! 🥹 In some ways I can't believe we've 32 weeks! 🥹 In some ways I can't believe we've made it this far and in other ways it's feels like I've been pregnant for a very long time. Each day has its own challenges and worries. Which is why I'm so thankful that Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." And to instead: "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness." Here's to seeking God's kingdom and righteousness in the 8ish weeks I have left!

(Matthew 6:34-35)
    Does God know all things? Yes, God knows all thing Does God know all things? Yes, God knows all things, nothing can be hidden from God. 

This catechism question could fill us with fear... "God knows all about my son!"
But lately it has filled me with hope and comfort. God knows what I experience each and every day. He knows my deepest pain or my brightest joy. He knows my every fleeting feeling from every single moment that I've ever lived. And He holds me under the shadow of His wing. (Psalm 17:8). ❤️
    After reading his commentaries almost daily for th After reading his commentaries almost daily for the last few years, you can see from this picture how happy I was to visit John Calvin's Church in Geneva this week! 😍
    Happy New Year from us! I am definitely looking f Happy New Year from us! 
I am definitely looking forward to what 2023 will hold for our growing fam. ❤️ And striving to look forward to THE new beginning to come. John Calvin said, "No man has made much progress in the school of Christ who does not look forward with joy to the day of death and final resurrection."
    It has been over two years since I laid on a medic It has been over two years since I laid on a medical bed with the ultrasound wand on my stomach to see what was inside. The last two times brought heartbreak as I saw the empty screens confirming the loss of two little babies I only carried for a few weeks each.

But yesterday? That screen was full. 
We're expecting a baby in May 2023.

This pregnancy has already been really different from my first one with my daughter. That is why you haven’t heard from me! I’ve definitely been in survival mode from the nausea and exhaustion. But, of course, I am so thankful for this little one that God has given. I know we often use Job’s famous line when we lose something, but it has been ringing in my head throughout this pregnancy so far:

“The Lord GIVES and the Lord takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21
    We've lived as expats in Oxford for almost 2 years We've lived as expats in Oxford for almost 2 years. Coming home from holiday truly felt like coming home. I love Oxford. What a challenging, exciting, and enjoyable chapter of life it is turning out to be. And what a grace from God because I could not have been brave enough to do it without Him. 💗
    Our August thus far. This one is just for the memo Our August thus far.
This one is just for the memories. ❤️
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    • Sabiana says:
      June 19, 2021 at 6:10 am

      HI! I found Your blog oN while i was on facebook! though i aM no longer on Facebook, i still subscribe anD look forwarD to Your posts. Thank you. Your writing haS greatly encouraged and influenced me.

      Reply
      • Deborah says:
        June 22, 2021 at 12:12 am

        Thank you so much for following along! Praise God that it has been an encouragement to you!

        Reply
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