This little bracelet is dear to me. I keep it in a box along with a birthday card, a hospital band, and a positive pregnancy test. Why? They are the memories of my lost pregnancy from a couple months ago.
The last two weeks have been long for me. I’ve not wanted to open Instagram, knowing full well that I will see posts about pregnancy loss. It’s just felt too sad, too raw.
But I’m sharing this picture today because it is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness day. I never thought that I would be the one in four women who have lost a baby. In fact, I didn’t even know that statistic until this past summer when I actually had a miscarriage. I went through my whole first pregnancy without a second thought, taking so much for granted… a healthy pregnancy, a smooth delivery and recovery, and a healthy baby. I now realize that I missed so many opportunities to praise God for His grace toward me in all those things.
Through this very difficult thing of losing a little one, I’m learning that I shouldn’t take anything for granted. Every little hug, every word spoken, every kiss given, every step taken, every breath, every moment is a gift.
God has been so gracious to give me my daughter Aletheia. He’s using her life to refine mine, showing me where I’m impatient, what I need to pray for, how I can love her better. And to bring me closer to Him when my own strength runs out.
But now I see that He has also been so gracious to give me another baby in eternity. He’s using that Little One to remind me to be thankful for the present, it is such a gift. And to look forward to the future even more, when we will all be together.
I will keep this short, but on this day set aside to remember all the Little Ones who have gone on ahead of us, I pray that it will push us grieving mamas to rest in God’s sovereignty and be thankful for all the good gifts that He gives us. So that we can be like Job who endured so much and came out the other side saying:
“The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21).