One day I snapped a picture of a load of laundry real quick cause I was so happy to have figured out how to get laundry done as a new mom. But when I looked down at all the cute baby things and thought of how many loads of laundry are still in my future, I admit, I got a little overwhelmed. Like, I will be a mother for the next 18ish years? No, the next 30 years? No, forever?!?!… “My life is over!”
And, you know what? I was right. My life of living only for myself was over. There was now a little person relying on me for their every need and I could no longer only look out for me.
My life of only living for myself was over.
Motherhood has taught me many things. One is how selfish I truly am. This incident made me realize that my sinful heart convinces me that I’m entitled to a lot of things. I often feel like I deserve a full night’s sleep, peace and quiet to read my Bible, a bath, time to exercise, getting all my chores done on time, having an immaculate house, no bags under my eyes… The list could go on.
These are not bad things and they were easy to do without a baby. But as a mom, they just can’t always happen if I’m to take care of my baby. Or at least they can’t happen on my timetable.
The reality of being a mom is that you are serving everyone else, not yourself.
You’re taking care of the kids, taking care of the house, and taking care of your husband. “Me” is usually on the bottom of the list, or not on the list at all. And that’s been good for me. It’s forced me to not be as selfish as I was before. To put others first, to make my wants and needs last, to be selfless.
Isn’t it funny how God works that way?
He challenges us in life so that we can learn to be more like Him. After all, Jesus gave up everything in order to save us (Philippians 2:5-8). He is so gracious to make me a mother so that I can learn to be less concerned about myself.
Of course It’s okay that I’ll be doing laundry, planning meals, cleaning bathrooms, disciplining, loving, and caring for many years to come. That I won’t always get to do what I want and I won’t always get to do what I want when I want to do it. It’s okay because that’s how I will grow in selflessness. That’s how I’ll be molded to be more like my Savior.
So, now I’m glad that I won’t be finished with mothering for a long time to come. But I’m more glad that God won’t be finished fathering me either. I’m so thankful for His promise to keep working on me and my selfish heart (Philippians 1:6). He’s not going to give up on me (Hebrews 13:5-6) and He’ll keeping teaching me lessons like this one.
Well, it’s been over a year since I wrote this post and those words are still true. God is still teaching me to not be selfish, to put others first, and to be thankful for this journey of motherhood. He is still so gracious and still such a good Father to me.
Yes, motherhood is still hard. There’s so much to do, so little time to do it. My daughter still needs a lot of attention, my heart still aches for my two babies that are with the Lord and not with me. But I know that God will continue to be faithful to me. He’s not giving up on me and His promises remain true.
I can fall back on Him any time and every time that I need to. Especially when I feel tired and worn out from all the work that being a mom entails.
How did you adjust to being a mom? How has God challenged you lately? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.
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